When Parents are at War: A Child Therapist’s Guide To Navigating High Conflict Divorce & Custody Cases

This is such an important topic and a helpful book for anyone working with children and families. Often, clinicians are reluctant to work with families that might be involved in a custody battle; however, Lynn Louise Wonders provides practical tips about how to protect yourself as a clinician while also serving the best interests of the child. If you are working with children, then you are going to need these tools at some point! You will feel much more prepared if you have this book before you get called into a course situation.

I am a LCSW working in a non profit agency for children. This book was a great, simple and straight forward read. Good for those working with children and families going through divorce. Lynn provides details in screenings and how to work with child’s parents, planning for treatment and attorney involvement.
I look forward to putting it to use in my practice.

This book is easy to read, concise, and a practical guide to helping child and parents experiencing divorce/separation. Working with child of high conflict is no easy manner. While reading, I reflected on many similarities from previous families I’ve work with. I feel so much more prepared, still slightly anxious, but mostly important, not alone.

This book is an easy read and offers essential information and guidance for therapists who work with children and families. The specific protocols identify important steps in working with parents engaged in divorce and custody cases. Lynn also identifies yellow and red flags to be aware of. The explanation of the Divorce Conflict Continuum and 3 Dimensions of Conflict were helpful in understanding aspects of divorce interactions. Lynn does a wonderful job breaking down how to conduct the initial session with parents, strategies, treatment planning and documentation. Definitely will help to navigate divorce and custody cases.

Having a clear framework for how to conceptualize cases alongside directives for how to navigate those cases is exactly what most therapists are looking for when they need guidance and grab a book out of their collection. This book can help you from the start – when you’re deciding whether or not you’re the right therapist for a particular child – and will continue to guide you from record keeping to court testimony.

Lynn Louise Wonders gives useful advice on how to handle screening potential clients, effective ways to handle divorced parents and promote co-parenting, how to respond to subpoenas, tips on helpful record keeping and also stresses therapist self-care for dealing with these types of difficult situations. As a child therapist and supervisor, I recommend this book to all clinicians who work with children and families.

Lynn’s breakdown of the different types of conflicting parents with yellow/red flags to beware of in high conflict divorce will help any child therapist avoid potential issues. Easy to implement policies and procedures are included along with examples of scripts to reference at every stage of treatment. There is so much more that makes this book a must have reference for every child therapist!

This book is necessary for all child and family therapists to have. As the books states at the beginning, when working with children in this role it is a guarantee that one will deal with divorce situations and likely a high conflict case. I am a clinician that has worked in agencies but am opening my own private practice shortly, and this book is very helpful with setting up my policies and procedures around these issues. I appreciated the specific suggestions that could be added and examples of scripts that could be followed when talking with parents, attorneys, or guardian ad lietms. I will keep this as one to refer back to when these situations arise.

This is a must have for all clinicians working with families. Even if you do not see a lot of people involved in the court system any of these issues covered in the book can come up, and likely will. I just used this book with a high conflict case!! There are many references for when working with the court system and can be used as a guide so you can assure you are covering everything. Of course utilize attorneys and legal consultation when needed but reading this will give you more confidence when working with this population group.

As a clinician working with children, I wish I had this book years ago. It provides an easy to follow outline for how to navigate challenging inevitably come up. The screening information and scripts are useful for any clinician and invaluable for any new clinicians struggling to set boundaries with difficult parents. I will continue to use this as a reference when I find myself stuck with families… this book has already done the work for you, all you need to do is read.

This book was fantastic! Easy and fast read, completely applicable and every word was written in a manner that was directly related to our work as therapists with children in a field where complex family dynamics make the work very complicated. Lynn Louise Wonders keeps our work focused, child focused and gives the reader a clear sense of her own experience as well as legal knowledge as well as even scripting to help when the waters get particularly muddy. This book is a must have when working with children. She states on page 28 that much of her words of advice are “wise to follow with all” families of divorce not just those who are in high conflict situation. The structure of communication is excellent and keeps the child client front and center. Chapter three reminds us to respect our profession and the skill set we bring to the work. The ever valuable Bill of Rights for children of divorce is addressed and Wonders discussed this when remaining neutral and when parents bring sessions to a high level of energy.

This book provides a great review or introduction to working with high conflict divorce cases and includes the importance of practicing self-care for clinicians. A quick accessible read.

I definitely recommend for therapists who work with these cases or are interested in working with these cases.

This book brings to awareness the essential concepts surrounding the parent dynamics in divorce that may intrude on a therapist’s work with a child. Specific child and family treatment interventions are not a main focus. The layout and suggestions presented have value for someone just starting out with this population and help to establish a strong foundation for the challenging work ahead. The author offers guidance in identifying high conflict cases and what this entails, and solid advice for a therapist to consider in making a determination about taking on such cases. The author highlights the importance of and strategies related to establishing clear boundaries from the onset, and gives reminders throughout. Starting from the initial phone call, potential issues that may come up and impact the therapeutic alliance with the child are discussed, with a balance of structure, grounded in simplicity, and the author’s personal strategies for identifying and addressing this with the parents, all while staying anchored and focused on supporting the child through these challenging dynamics. The author graciously includes her adaptation of the Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce, worded both for the parents and the child. A few case examples would have been an additional highlight.

I particularly enjoyed the layout of this book. Lynn did an excellent job of condensing so much information into a format that is easy to read and cross reference easily. Chapter 8 was especially helpful in laying out exactly what my roles are and how to best support the child.

Very helpful information for Professional Counselors. The yellow/red flag information was very helpful and provided a good framework for where to ask questions and gather more information. The information I learned helped me feel more confident and competent when/if I experience a high conflict divorce situation with a client I am working with. I really enjoyed that the book not only provided information about court, attorneys and the legal system but also the Counselor’s role as it relates to the legal system and the work that we do with the client; from screening, intake and treatment planning with the child-client and the parents.

As a newer clinician in the field, I found this book to be extraordinarily useful in navigating divorce and child custody cases. I found the “Initial Screening” and “Treatment Planning & Recording Keeping” chapters to be especially helpful. I liked that the author gave sample questions of things that would be good to ask the parents, and also outlined what yellow and red flags are in divorce cases. The other chapters were full of great, detailed information, and as a reader, I could tell that she truly has a wealth of knowledge in this area. This book is nicely organized, which would make it easy to flip through if I was looking for something in particular. I’m glad I read this, as it will greatly aid me in the field. Add this to your professional library if you haven’t already!

As an early career or seasoned clinician, this book will give you the confidence needed to work with cases involving high conflict divorce. These cases are very likely to walk into our office’s as clinician’s who work with children. Lynn is extremely thorough in addressing all aspects that play into these cases. It felt like she had written these pages as a thorough professional consultation, just for me, as each chapter was congruent with my experience and gave clear answers and guidance on the best plan of action. Not only does it help you work with all aspects of these cases, but it truly helps you to understand the emotions and struggles of the child(ren) involved, as well as best practices of intervention.

From screening and intake, working with child client’s, parents, and attorneys, to treatment planning and record keeping, and even preparing for going to court, this book leaves no stone unturned. This book is the holy grail of knowledge and information when working with children whose parents are involved in a high conflict divorce.

I found this book to be informative, based on research with citations provided, as well as based on years of knowledge and experience from the author. There are many useful/applicable tools for therapists to use with their own clients, employees, and supervisees. We will review our own office policies and procedures and ensure they are aligned with research and up to date best practice/standards. The child bill of rights for divorced parents was new to me and I plan to utilize this readily. Highly recommend this book for any child provider, as divorced families and potential for conflict can arise with any/all clients.

As a newly graduate mental health counselor, I honestly love this book! It provides a comprehensive outline of the real work a therapist can face when working with high-conflict divorce. It provides a throughout outline of the challenges and various situations a therapist can find themselves in when working with this population. While reading the book it felt like a conversation and it provided insight into ever intricate aspect of the situation as it dissected the content.

This is a quick read. I definitely recommend for therapist who work with this population or with any as there are aspects that can be applied to further enhance the therapeutic experience.